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记忆以内,夏了夏天

记忆以内,夏了夏天

  
  文。半夏
  
  QQ:393887245
  
  天黑去旅行。就算不真实,也当是在纸上进行了一场虚无的冒险,在心里经历了一次华丽丽的旅行。------题记
  
  毕业季,迎来了又一个喧闹的夏天,各种砸瓶子,各种尖叫,各种口号和歌声。打破原来寂静的夜空,我想他们的这种所谓的发泄除了留恋和不舍的感情下还隐藏这些许悔恨吧,四年,弹指一挥间,得大于失,还是失大于得,不得而知。
  
  人是个奇怪的动物,往往只有在结束的时候才能“大彻大悟”。一路流失,一路遗忘一路记忆,却也一路改变。最终却也不得不以毕业的名义将青春散场。五月天说,青春是手牵手坐上不回头的火车。只是我们都知道能和你一起不回头坐上火车的人有几个?或者我该问有没有。是的,有些字说的有点小讽刺,但我们却也不得不承www.sjtuedp.cn/skin/skin/friend/9/5576787.html认这真的就是事实,无法争辩的事实。
  
  有太多人被我删了QQ删了联系电话,从此也就真的没有联系过了,这就是距离,这就是曾今所谓的感情,我想没有比别这更能将距离这个词展现的如此淋漓尽致了。这种距离一直拉远一直持续,直到有一天我们在也记不起我们曾在对方的生命里出现过。就像最初的时刻那样,我们从未相识。当初我们认为亲密无间的好友,也许在分开以后就不会再互相倾诉什么,不诉难过也不分享快乐,偶尔的交流也只局限于一些无关痛痒的话题,即使曾今不分你我,或者相互友好。有人说:“两个人之间一辈子可以说的话,只有那么多,如果提早说完了,那么以后就再也没话说了。有时候或许真的就是那么回事。时过境迁,兜兜转转间我们都淡忘了很多,记不起某些人的到来,也记不起某些人的离去,就像一阵清风的消散一样,将所有的痕迹都变得渺茫。
  
  很多年以前,生活总是可以很简单,一首歌,几本书,和一本记载着时光的日记,便形成了一个叫做青春的词汇。从陈旧的时光里,我们不难发现越是长大便越是孤单。或者说越是长大,我们越发的开始变得世故变得复杂。
  
  这些年,过的太过平凡,却还是觉得自己应该是不平凡的。每个人都会有这样的想法,却不知如何处理得当。总是会在丢失某些东西时失去信心,或者索性直接放弃。这样的懦弱让我越发的开始讨厌自己。但这样的讨厌却还是不足够去改变我某些时候表现出来的懦弱。
  
  一直都觉得自己不是特别讨人喜欢的人,并不是说我有多么的冷漠,只是从来都不懂得跟不熟悉的人表现的很亲近,以至于自己的内心总觉得有一种无法言喻却又明明白白真真实实的存在的距离生疏感。一直在不断的学习怎样才可以更好的处理某些人际关系,时间也一直在走,一年又一年,一天又一天,一秒又一秒,不急不慢。而我们想对自己说的话,也随着这些年岁渐渐的变了。有些我曾经好处理好的关系也在不知不觉中消失。而我在面对这些肤浅的岁月时,却没有任何一种合适的方法来回味,就好像过去就www.feierphoto.cn/admin/editor/Api_Uppic/2013-02/11/3792166是过去了,即使我歇斯底里的对抗,也不会得到任何安慰。我无法想象十年后的自己再去读现在的文字时是怎样的心情,会流眼泪还是会嘲笑,我想到那个时候,自己再也无法像现在这样,用这样的思维方式来理解十年前我的心情。
  
  拿出刚进校时候的照片和自己对比,不难发现确实改变些许,但我想我还是没有变的吧,时间也许改变了我们的外表和思想,但是一个人的灵魂是无法改变的。人是个矛盾体,大多数我们都喜欢自相矛盾,例如我们不喜欢肤浅和没有存在感的事物,因为它让人觉的空洞和彷徨而且没有把握感,可是又有什么是那么高尚优雅贴切却易于感知的呢。很多时候我不知道自己想要或喜欢什么,却知道自己不想要或讨厌什么。其实很多事很简单,但我们却总想的复杂,有些事很复杂但我们却想的太过简单。我们总在以一种未知的方式打量着这个世界,落寞时便觉得世界一片荒芜一无是处,得意之时便觉得世界繁花似锦生机勃勃,只是我们却忽略了一点,其实世界一直未曾改变,改变的一直都是我www.jnzhongqi.cn/aspnet_client/system_web/1_1_4322/10/1065438们自身的内心。就像时间一直在流淌,只是太多的嘈杂在不经意间将它掩盖了而已。
  
  每次下课时听到校园的广播响起是,总感觉很庆幸,庆幸自己还是个学生,可以不用承担太多,庆幸自己还生活在一个相对纯洁安宁的世界,可以不那么世俗和不安。来到这座城市已经两年了,多多少少也熟悉了这里的种种,虽然久而久之发现生活太过规律化了,教室,食堂,宿舍,这些地方每天都会走过,越来越觉得,越是身边的东西就越不会产生存在感,或是说这些东西早就在不知不觉中被定型,所以存在感也就不那么凸显,而对于那些有距离的东西没有被我们定型的东西就会很憧憬,太多的东西只是因为没有切实的感受,所以才会好奇。
  
  记忆以内,夏了夏天
  
  记忆以外,忘了昨天
  
  未完。不再续!
  
  
       
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